WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DEADSHIT AND A DROPKICK?

Trump just called Bibi a crazy bastard who belongs in jail. Here’s the thing: he’s not wrong. He’s just describing the dropkick in the mirror.

Well, well, well. Pull up a chair, because this one’s a cracker.

Yesterday we sat you down and explained, in some bloody detail, how Iran just fucked Bibi and Donald both at the same time, shut two straits, snookered the lot of them, and that for all his strutting this was a defeat for Israel as much as for the orange one.

IRAN JUST FUCKED BIBI & DONALD BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION

We said it before the ink was dry. And then, like clockwork, the receipt dropped. Louder than we dared hope.

Because per Axios, citing two US officials and a third source briefed on the call, Donald got on the blower to Netanyahu and absolutely unloaded. Not a polite diplomatic “mate, ease up.” A full, foam-at-the-mouth spray.

“You’re fucking crazy. You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me. I’m saving your ass. Everybody hates you now. Everybody hates Israel because of this.” Trump to Netanyahu, per a US official’s summary of the call (Axios)

A second source reckons he was, and I’m quoting, “pissed,” and at one point screamed “what the fuck are you doing?” straight down the line. Beautiful stuff. Genuinely. Somewhere a marriage counsellor just felt a disturbance in the force.

Now here’s the bit that matters, and it’s the bit Donald will never work out in a million years. He’s not wrong. Everybody does hate Bibi. The world is, in fact, recoiling. The man probably should be in a courtroom. Every word of it lands.

It’s just that when you point one finger at a bloke, you daft prick, three more point straight back at you.

“You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me”

Sit with that line, because it’s not a threat. It’s a confession dressed up as a brag.

He’s not making it up, either. Trump literally posted an official letter to Israel’s President Herzog calling Netanyahu’s corruption charges “political lawfare” and leaning on him to hand down a pardon. He’s intervened in another sovereign country’s justice system, in writing, on letterhead, to keep his mate out of the dock.

Trump’s own letter branded the charges “political lawfare” and pushed Israel’s president for a pardon.

So read the boast again. “You’d be in prison if it weren’t for me.” That’s not Donald the hero. That’s Donald admitting, out loud, to his own face, that he reached into a foreign legal system with both hands and yanked a bloke off the path to a cell. He thinks it’s the flex. It’s the indictment. The arsonist is bragging about the petrol.

“Everybody hates Israel because of this”

Sure does, Donald. And remind us, who’s been arming it, funding it, vetoing for it, and running cover at every turn while the buildings came down? Not Bibi on his own. The pair of you. Hand in glove.

And here’s the detail that should stop you cold, because it came from Trump’s own side: a US official said the President objected to Israel demolishing entire buildings to take out a single Hezbollah commander, and was disturbed by the high civilian death toll. Let that one breathe. When even the bloke who blocks every ceasefire is going “steady on, that’s a lot of dead civilians,” you are well past the point of plausible deniability. The body count got loud enough that the enabler flinched.

But here’s why he’s actually filthy

Don’t mistake any of this for a conscience. Donald’s not lying awake over dead Lebanese kids. The thing that sent him spare is purely, perfectly selfish: Netanyahu’s escalation in Lebanon was imploding his Iran deal. That’s it. That’s the whole reason. Iran threatened to walk over the Lebanon strikes that same Monday, and Donald watched his “largely negotiated, announced shortly” fantasy go up in smoke in real time, so he picked up the phone and screamed at the bloke holding the match.

He’s not angry that people died. He’s angry that the dying cost him his win. Which is, when you think about it, the most honest thing the man has ever accidentally revealed about himself.

The two-faced bit, for the road

Publicly? Sunshine. He hopped on Truth Social and chirped “Thank you Bibi! He turned his Troops around,” all gratitude and good vibes, hoping the ceasefire holds “for ETERNITY.” Privately, same day, same bloke: “you’re fucking crazy, you belong in prison, everybody hates you.”

And this isn’t a one-off lover’s tiff. It’s a pattern. The Qatar strikes leak: “he’s fucking me.” The Gaza call: “why are you always so fucking negative, take the win.” Now Lebanon: “you’re fucking crazy.” Three leaked blow-ups and counting. Somebody in that White House keeps leaving the diary open on the kitchen bench, and you have to wonder if it’s Donald himself, wanting the world to know he’s the reasonable one. Mate. Nobody in this story is the reasonable one.

So where does that leave us? With two men screaming at each other through a mirror. The world hates them both, equally, and they’ve earned every drop of it. The only difference between the pair of these projecting, self-pitying, blood-on-the-boots bastards is the body count. One of them has murdered a great deal more innocent people than the other.

That’s it. That’s the only difference. Everything else is just one deadshit and one dropkick pointing fingers and hoping you don’t notice where the other three are aimed.

IFLA ~ Gman

The Aussie-to-Yank Glossary

Australian and American are technically the same language, the way 'mate' and 'buddy' technically mean the same thing: both can mean friendly, even best friend, but ours can also mean total stranger, or the last word you hear before the punches start, and you're meant to pick which from the tone alone. Below are today's terms, decoded for Washington.

Cracker Something excellent, a ripper, a beauty. “This one’s a cracker” means buckle up, it’s good. Confusingly, it has nothing to do with biscuits and everything to do with a leaked phone call that ruins two reputations at once.

On the blower On the phone. To get on the blower is to make the call. In this case, the call where the leader of the free world rang an ally to scream that he belongs in prison. Diplomacy, 2026 style.

Spray A furious verbal tirade, a torrent of abuse delivered at volume. “He gave him an absolute spray” means the recipient is now several inches shorter and slightly damp. Not to be confused with the orange one’s other kind of spray, which is applied to the face each morning.

Filthy Furious, ropeable, spitting chips. “Donald was filthy” does not mean he needed a shower, although that too. It means he was livid, and for entirely selfish reasons.

Dropkick A useless idiot, a no-hoper, a waste of good oxygen. Australia’s most efficient insult, because it sounds almost affectionate right up until you realise it isn’t. Applicable here to both blokes, simultaneously, which is rare value.

Daft prick A foolish idiot, but said with a certain weary fondness reserved for people too far gone to insult properly. The “daft” softens it. The “prick” does not.

Ropeable So angry you’d need to be tied up with rope to stop you doing something regrettable. A step beyond filthy. Where you end up after your peace deal implodes live on the telly.

Steady on A gentle Australian warning meaning “calm down” or “that’s quite enough.” When even the bloke vetoing every ceasefire is muttering “steady on” about the body count, you have travelled a very long way down a very dark road.

Chirped Spoke up cheerfully, often inappropriately so. To chirp on social media is to post something sunny and upbeat while privately behaving like an absolute animal. A specialised skill.

Spitting chips Extremely angry, beside yourself with rage. The chips in question are the dry, furious kind that fly out when you’re yelling “what the fuck are you doing” down a phone line at a head of state.

Deadshit A useless, contemptible clown. Sits a rung below a dropkick and only just above a doorstop. The sort of bloke who'd lose an argument to a pot plant and then accuse the pot plant of being in on the conspiracy. Today, generously, applies to both men on the call, and to whichever one keeps leaking it.